…..steel toecaps required!
AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH. Hmm, that feels a bit better.
Someone has upended the special storage boxes in my head. The ones that I file things away in until I’m ready to deal with them. I’ve gone back over the past few weeks and can’t recall doing any spectacular gymnastics or other twizzly stuff that might have inadvertently scattered their contents everywhere, so why have they all got muddled up?
It’s very frustrating. The boxes were doing a really good job of keeping my thoughts and feelings in their place and now I’ve got to start again putting it all away. Maybe I’ve overloaded some of them and they just burst? Actually, if I’m honest, I’ve probably got lazy and just been cramming things in, sitting on the lids in the hope that they’d hold together.
Now there’s no other option than to start the big clean up …. in reinforced boxes!
The Anger Box - anger at this stupid disease.
The Guilt Box - feelings of guilt because of how it affects everyone around me.
The Sadness Box - sadness at the shadows cancer casts over so many lives.
The Frustration Box - frustration with everything …when the mood takes me.
The Scared Box - this new life is scary.
On a brighter note, when the above boxes are sorted then I can indulge in dipping into the happier boxes. The memory box, the laughter box, the Mr Bad Fairy box, the Junior Bad Fairy box, the embarrassing moment box, the friends box and the giggle ‘til you cry box.
Wish me luck!
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:-( *hug* Your posts always bring tears to my eyes.
ReplyDeleteWhat is happening with your treatment?
I have been lucky with mine - just a lumpectomy and now chemo (ick). I know what you mean about the sadness. I thought it would be with me for ever, but it went after successful surgery.
I hope that you live long and proper.
(Umm, prosper. *sigh*)
ReplyDeleteGood Luck with your boxes..I totally understand as my head is a full inbox..I have to delete the rubbish/spam regularly and focus on the important stuff. I have hidden files I only deal with when I'm ready. Hope your chemo is going well, I'm still on Xeloda, it's ok, it's surprisingly kind. Love Belinda..from the BCC boards..x
ReplyDeleteWe do wish you luck and those boxes will soon be sorted and filed away and out will come the happy boxes.
ReplyDeleteThoughts are with you, Love from Joyce x
Hmmm.. interesting post my bad fairy! My boxes are spinning at the moment would you please join me and lets catch the giggle til you cry box then I will be ready to catch the rest!!
ReplyDeleteLots of love your Fairy Godmother xxx
Hi again BF, though I'm not in your position I can well understand about the jumbled boxes. My illness and age, not medication, mess mine up big time. I have a Mistaken Identity Box, where all the people go who's names I can't remember (could be aa dozen or so of them in there at any one time) and I call them the first thing that the memory manager throws at me. Could be the name of one of the dogs, or the last person I was talking to, or perhaps several of them, one after another. Everybody thinks I am a mad old bat, so that's cool! Mrs.R xxxx
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