Cannula Queens....

…...and Fairy Godmothers.


Everyone needs a Fairy Godmother. I’ve got a special one and I’m not sharing because she also has hidden talents.

Not only is she completely loopy, absolutely hilarious in her observations on life and the most naturally caring individual you could know, she can ….wait for it…..cannulate!

Having weekly chemotherapy means a twice weekly prodding of the veins. Once for a blood test and once to have a cannula inserted for the “Red Devils” (or drug of the week) in be infused through.

So far I’m lucky to be complimented by the nurses on the good behaviour of my veins. They don’t run away and hide and none of them have so far collapsed. It does happen for many patients though, particularly when veins are regularly abused by needles and toxic potions, so only time will tell if mine suddenly see the light and disappear.

Should the old veins dare to play up then the Cannula Queen has permission to be let loose on me. I shall either smuggle her into the treatment room or insist on a home supply of equipment so she can stab my veins over a coffee!

Needless to say she has other medical skills too, you don’t tend to learn these things just by chance. Some of these could be quite useful, for instance, she knows just how to unstick an inadvertently superglued toe from a sandal. One that I do draw the line at though is the precordial thump ….the whack on the chest you might get if ever you’re unfortunate enough to have a heart attack. Well if she thumps me I’d have to thump back now wouldn’t I? She wouldn’t expect any less from a Bad Fairy!

As Fairy Godmothers go, mine is up there with the five star ones. Obviously everyone will look for different qualities in their Fairy Godmothers. For me the things that stand out are the glistening heart of gold that’s impossible to hide, the naughty twinkle in the eye, the tear inducing giggle, the instinct that allows us to talk, at just the right time, about things others shy away from and the feeling that despite not knowing each other for long it feels like forever ….in a good way. Oh and did I mention that she cannulates AND bakes cakes?