Feeling guilty ....

…..for being quiet and grumpy!.

Bad Fairies aren’t known for being quiet so sometimes we have to put a bit of practise in and that‘s what I‘ve been doing.

The past three weeks have been very busy in the Bad Fairy house, school holidays, meeting up with an old school friend, parents visiting and parents staying. All very lovely and thoroughly enjoyable but here’s the rub. I hate admitted that my energy levels aren’t what they were. Giving in to feeling tired isn’t something I do. Spur of the moment is my style and unfortunately spur of the moment is a bit of a drain on the limited fairy resources ….and then I pay the price.

Being sociable is something I enjoy, certainly not something which used to use up much energy. Weird how now it does if I don’t pace myself better. It’s not just physical energy either, mental energy leaks out of my ears like little puffs of dragon’s smoke! A combination of being poisoned weekly, having lumpy bad bits tapping into vital energy supplies and doing all of the usual mum stuff should give me a hint that reserves are likely to be lower but I choose to ignore that.

The lack of mental energy can cause problems. Lack of concentration which can make conversations really weird. The appalling memory skills. Knowing that it really isn’t worth my while trying to do Junior Bad Fairy homework are some of the less troublesome. The worst is that I read too much into what others say and could very easily over react. I want to shout (but don’t) that it’s not important that you had sugar in your tea and didn’t want it, who cares if a plate got smashed, does it really matter that someone pushed into a queue of traffic …. I want to be very selfish and shout (but still don’t!) that what’s important is that I’m grateful to have woken up this morning and I’m alive.

The solution. Well, I suppose I could be sensible and space things out better but that seems a bit boring and predictable. So the Bad Fairy solution is, wear yourself out to the point where you can’t remember how to spell your own name and then spend some time in quiet reflection. Not sleeping, just sitting. No company, apart from some very gentle burbling bubbles, no interruptions. Reorganise the cluttered mental filing cabinets, wear a grumpy face and relax! Works a treat.

In my defence I have to say, the grumpy face isn’t grumpy. It’s my thinking face. It’s just relaxed, not smiling or frowning, not doing anything really just being there, sort of non-expressive I suppose. Miss Bad Fairy calls it my grumpy face but I think that’s because she gets confused with quiet and grumpy, neither of which come naturally to her either!