…..Me, I do and lots of it!
I know, you know and lots of other people know that it’s not advisable to take steroids after about 6pm. My chemo appointment yesterday was running a bit late and it was about 5.45pm when my pre-chemo steroids were sent firing through my veins.
Oh what a night! It was quite obvious that it wasn’t going to be an early one, steroids make me a bit hyper. I leave the chemo suite ready to dance around the car park … the reason why Mr Bad Fairy won’t let me drive myself home! Quite sensible really, goodness knows where I’d end up.
The hours ticked by, chattering about complete nonsense to Mr BF until he couldn’t take it anymore and had to go to bed. A few more hours on the computer …..chatting. The hours ticked past and my little brain was whizzing around, no sign of letting up.
4am arrived and I decided I really should try to sleep. Off I went to bed, little brain still whizzing. Do I want a cup of tea? Why does Tabitha the cat purr so loudly? Can I feel the chemo doing some Kung Fu fighting with those cloudy tumours? Why is it getting light outside so early? Wish Bertie hadn’t scoffed my cake, I could just nibble a bit now. I wonder if the person who loses a shoe in the middle of the road realises they’ve lost a shoe? Surely that’s something you’d notice? Flap the quilt about a bit, rearranged so it’s just right. Punch the pillows into submission, flip them over to get the benefit of the cooler side.
Right, time for the tried and tested relaxation techniques. Flex and relax each muscle individually starting at the toes, this usually works by the time I get to my knees. Picture a tranquil scene complete with winding paths and a waterfall cascading into a crystal clear pool. Repeating the word ‘relax’ or ‘sleep’ or strangely enough ‘black’ over and over and over. And all of the time the clock keeps ticking.
Failed miserably. The clock ticked and reached 5.30am. Definitely need that cup of tea now. The twittering, tweeting and occasional screech of the dawn chorus outside the bedroom window had reached a volume that was becoming irritating! I swear I could hear the rabbits bouncing across the lawn looking for that particular lush bit of grass that would make the perfect breakfast feast.
Ah well …..who needs sleep? Me, I do! Maybe I should have used up that energy dancing across the car park?
Night night, sweet dreams and mind the bed bugs don’t bite!
Friday 23 July 2010
Thursday 22 July 2010
As if to prove a point.....
…. Bertie scoffed my cake last night.
It was a delicious cake, or at least the bits I’d eaten were. A spiced Dorset apple cake (or a Dorset spiced apple cake maybe?) made by my lovely, slightly loopy, terribly gorgeous (please note any single, handsome gentlemen that may be reading), friend Pippa.
Bertie is confined to the dog naughty corner for the next week and I’ve ordered some padlocks for the kitchen cupboards!
It was a delicious cake, or at least the bits I’d eaten were. A spiced Dorset apple cake (or a Dorset spiced apple cake maybe?) made by my lovely, slightly loopy, terribly gorgeous (please note any single, handsome gentlemen that may be reading), friend Pippa.
Bertie is confined to the dog naughty corner for the next week and I’ve ordered some padlocks for the kitchen cupboards!
Monday 19 July 2010
Animals do the....
…….naughtiest things!
Who said pets are good for you? Therapeutic? Reduce stress levels? Excuse me whilst I splutter into my cup of tea.
The Bad Fairy household is a bit of a zoo. Not a proper zoo, we don’t have a giraffe, a hippopotamus nor an elephant. (Although the jury is out on the elephant after a rather large hole appeared in the bottom field…..suspicions have been voiced that a rogue elephant may be trying to break in!)
We did have some orphaned lambs that grew up to be big sheep. They were re-homed after I had to retrieve one from next door, he was mooching around the living room watching the television. Presumably he was a bit put out at having to miss the Jeremy Kyle Show because after this incident the only way I could walk through the field without being butted was if I held him in a head lock!
Chickens are much easier. Except Milly. Milly thinks she’s a dog. She can frequently be found, head tucked under her wing, having a nap under the kitchen table. After being evicted she sulks and stares longingly through the window waiting for the next chance to sneak in. She comes running (you’ve never seen a chicken sprint so fast!) when she hears the dog food being served up and follows the dogs around to make sure she isn’t missing out on anything.
I suppose that brings us nicely to dogs. There are three Bad Fairy dogs, all Labradors. Anden (needless to say there’s a story behind the name) and Penny are both nine. Very loyal, very gentle and generally very good. They have had their moments but have mellowed like a fine wine. And then there’s Bertie.
Bertie (named because I thought he had hints of Bertie Wooster about him) is naughty. If there was a naughty corner for dogs Bertie would live in it. He just can’t help himself. He lulls you into a false sense of security by being a model dog for a few days, gazing at you with those soppy big brown eyes, resting his head in your lap and then it all gets too much for him. Nothing is safe. Bertie can open the pedal bin and will cheerfully retrieve any goodies he can find there. He’s a super-swift worktop surfer and helps himself to anything that takes his fancy, loaves of bread, cake, table mats, a bottle of Ribena and yes that last one did make a bit of a mess! Worse than all of that he dared to steal my Jaffa Cakes, slobbered on them all then ate the cardboard box. Therapeutic? Yeah right!
Anyone want a dog?
Who said pets are good for you? Therapeutic? Reduce stress levels? Excuse me whilst I splutter into my cup of tea.
The Bad Fairy household is a bit of a zoo. Not a proper zoo, we don’t have a giraffe, a hippopotamus nor an elephant. (Although the jury is out on the elephant after a rather large hole appeared in the bottom field…..suspicions have been voiced that a rogue elephant may be trying to break in!)
We did have some orphaned lambs that grew up to be big sheep. They were re-homed after I had to retrieve one from next door, he was mooching around the living room watching the television. Presumably he was a bit put out at having to miss the Jeremy Kyle Show because after this incident the only way I could walk through the field without being butted was if I held him in a head lock!
Chickens are much easier. Except Milly. Milly thinks she’s a dog. She can frequently be found, head tucked under her wing, having a nap under the kitchen table. After being evicted she sulks and stares longingly through the window waiting for the next chance to sneak in. She comes running (you’ve never seen a chicken sprint so fast!) when she hears the dog food being served up and follows the dogs around to make sure she isn’t missing out on anything.
I suppose that brings us nicely to dogs. There are three Bad Fairy dogs, all Labradors. Anden (needless to say there’s a story behind the name) and Penny are both nine. Very loyal, very gentle and generally very good. They have had their moments but have mellowed like a fine wine. And then there’s Bertie.
Bertie (named because I thought he had hints of Bertie Wooster about him) is naughty. If there was a naughty corner for dogs Bertie would live in it. He just can’t help himself. He lulls you into a false sense of security by being a model dog for a few days, gazing at you with those soppy big brown eyes, resting his head in your lap and then it all gets too much for him. Nothing is safe. Bertie can open the pedal bin and will cheerfully retrieve any goodies he can find there. He’s a super-swift worktop surfer and helps himself to anything that takes his fancy, loaves of bread, cake, table mats, a bottle of Ribena and yes that last one did make a bit of a mess! Worse than all of that he dared to steal my Jaffa Cakes, slobbered on them all then ate the cardboard box. Therapeutic? Yeah right!
Anyone want a dog?
Friday 16 July 2010
Bill Oddie....
…..would be proud of me.
My mouth and throat are a sanctuary it seems for thrush. Ok, so maybe Mr Oddie wouldn’t be that impressed as it’s not the feathered variety of thrush but you can’t please all of the people all of the time! I actually thought I was doing quite well clearing them out of the nesting spot at the back of my throat but Dr Tinkerbell said otherwise and Tuesday’s chemo was postponed.
Did you notice that it was Dr Tink’ and not Dr Socks I saw? I fear Dr Socks is avoiding me. Probably because I told him he didn’t look guilty enough after putting me in hospital the other week. Or maybe because I suggested he might be trying to finish me off ……can’t think why he’d want to do that, a model patient such as myself!
Short one today, I have to go and create a white rabbit costume for tomorrow. Miss Bad Fairy is going to an Alice in Wonderland birthday party. Much easier if it was a ‘Wearing mum’s wellies’ party!!
My mouth and throat are a sanctuary it seems for thrush. Ok, so maybe Mr Oddie wouldn’t be that impressed as it’s not the feathered variety of thrush but you can’t please all of the people all of the time! I actually thought I was doing quite well clearing them out of the nesting spot at the back of my throat but Dr Tinkerbell said otherwise and Tuesday’s chemo was postponed.
Did you notice that it was Dr Tink’ and not Dr Socks I saw? I fear Dr Socks is avoiding me. Probably because I told him he didn’t look guilty enough after putting me in hospital the other week. Or maybe because I suggested he might be trying to finish me off ……can’t think why he’d want to do that, a model patient such as myself!
Short one today, I have to go and create a white rabbit costume for tomorrow. Miss Bad Fairy is going to an Alice in Wonderland birthday party. Much easier if it was a ‘Wearing mum’s wellies’ party!!
Thursday 8 July 2010
"I've looked at clouds....
….from both sides now”
Clouds …why clouds? On Tuesday I had my weekly consultant consultation and we discussed my latest ct scan images. Clouds, that’s what I have!! I can’t remember if I said in an earlier post but I’ve developed an allergy to the IV contrast they use to enhance the images of scans so now mine are a bit blurry to say the least. Rather than defined ‘blobs’ on my liver I now have clouds. On a steroid sleepless high last night I spent ages picturing my clouds. Are they white fluffy cotton wool ones, big black thunderous ones or somewhere in between? After much deliberation I settled on crisp grey clouds with fluffy edges, a hint of showers but the potential for the sun to break through.
The outcome of the consultation, other than discovering clouds, was that I had more chemo yesterday. Because my last ‘weekly’ dose put me in hospital for a week and then took a further three to four weeks to be cleared from my system by the unclouded bits of my liver, this weeks dose of Docetaxol/Taxotere was reduced by 50%. Hopefully this will do the good stuff it needs to do and allow me to continue with the weekly cycles. The best way of telling if it’s doing good seems to be how I’m feeling and how stable my liver function is …..scans will just show clouds, hopefully with the odd ray of sunshine peeking through.
You can’t have rainbows without a few clouds!!
Clouds …why clouds? On Tuesday I had my weekly consultant consultation and we discussed my latest ct scan images. Clouds, that’s what I have!! I can’t remember if I said in an earlier post but I’ve developed an allergy to the IV contrast they use to enhance the images of scans so now mine are a bit blurry to say the least. Rather than defined ‘blobs’ on my liver I now have clouds. On a steroid sleepless high last night I spent ages picturing my clouds. Are they white fluffy cotton wool ones, big black thunderous ones or somewhere in between? After much deliberation I settled on crisp grey clouds with fluffy edges, a hint of showers but the potential for the sun to break through.
The outcome of the consultation, other than discovering clouds, was that I had more chemo yesterday. Because my last ‘weekly’ dose put me in hospital for a week and then took a further three to four weeks to be cleared from my system by the unclouded bits of my liver, this weeks dose of Docetaxol/Taxotere was reduced by 50%. Hopefully this will do the good stuff it needs to do and allow me to continue with the weekly cycles. The best way of telling if it’s doing good seems to be how I’m feeling and how stable my liver function is …..scans will just show clouds, hopefully with the odd ray of sunshine peeking through.
You can’t have rainbows without a few clouds!!
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