"I've looked at clouds....

….from both sides now”


Clouds …why clouds? On Tuesday I had my weekly consultant consultation and we discussed my latest ct scan images. Clouds, that’s what I have!! I can’t remember if I said in an earlier post but I’ve developed an allergy to the IV contrast they use to enhance the images of scans so now mine are a bit blurry to say the least. Rather than defined ‘blobs’ on my liver I now have clouds. On a steroid sleepless high last night I spent ages picturing my clouds. Are they white fluffy cotton wool ones, big black thunderous ones or somewhere in between? After much deliberation I settled on crisp grey clouds with fluffy edges, a hint of showers but the potential for the sun to break through.

The outcome of the consultation, other than discovering clouds, was that I had more chemo yesterday. Because my last ‘weekly’ dose put me in hospital for a week and then took a further three to four weeks to be cleared from my system by the unclouded bits of my liver, this weeks dose of Docetaxol/Taxotere was reduced by 50%. Hopefully this will do the good stuff it needs to do and allow me to continue with the weekly cycles. The best way of telling if it’s doing good seems to be how I’m feeling and how stable my liver function is …..scans will just show clouds, hopefully with the odd ray of sunshine peeking through.

You can’t have rainbows without a few clouds!!